"There are powers beyond the mind, which your scientists could never have brought within its framework without shattering it entirely, but hey, at least it makes for good roleplays on the internet. What? Oh, crap! You know too much."
Arthur C Clarke, Childhood's End 2: End Harder
The multiverse. A realm of the strange and wondrous, where the unlikely can be likely and the possible can be impossible. Each universe gives birth to more every millisecond. Universes are born, reproduce, grow old, and die every minute. This is a fact known to many beings across the realms. What is not known to most, however, is that the barriers between universes, dividing what "is" and what is "not"- are thinner and more easily breached than believed possible. Some individuals utilize crude and fleeting methods like— I'm sorry, what?
Apologies, listeners. The writers are banging on the door of my recording booth, saying they gave me the wrong script. Of course they did that. No one here got the job because they knew how to do things, they all got it because they have family members working for Strex Corp. And now they're telling me to shut up or they'll replace me. Oh yeah, sure, who are you going to replace me with? A chipmunk?
... I'm being told they can do that. Alright then, guess it's time for me to shut up. Not literally, because I still have to record this. Right, let's see where we are. -clears throat- This next story does not have the emotional weight and the mind-bending complexity of a cannon. This means that this story is not a cannon. Let me repeat that: this story is not canon. Everybody got that? Good.
So apparently there was this big bad guy called Omega. He wanted to destroy the universe. Because of that, no one liked Omega. This made him very, very sad. Omega didn't like being sad, which is why he figured out the right thing to do was erase the universe and all of existence. Unaware of the scientific repercussions of his choice, Omega set out in the daunting task of destroying the universe. But it turns out that people liked this universe and didn't want it to be destroyed, so they recruited champions and seekers and villains to help them on the fight against Omega. But one day, after 2 years, 5 months, 22 days and a lot of posts, Omega sat down and realized "maybe people would like me if I didn't try to destroy the universe". After talking it over with his therapist, Omega came to the decision that he was going to do just that, so one day, he called up four of his best ex-friends: the nomads Yee, Moja, Mibli and Tatu.
Yee, who was too busy on his vacation, said that he was going to post the answer later and apologized for leaving Omega on the limbo. Moja and Mibli weren't available because they only showed up when they wanted you to grab something for them. And Tatu was too busy watching his supposed 'generals' squabble amongst themselves. But eventually, they picked up the phone, and after Omega told them that he was going to stop trying to destroy the universe, he invited them all to the beach. And so, with a snap of fingers, all of them were now on the sandy beaches of Rio de Janeiro, enjoying some juice, some shrimp and some fries as the sun looked down at them with a smile. However, after destroying the sun for smiling too much, the four guys realized that when you're a super-powerful god-like being, beach is kinda boring. If only there was something more interesting to watch...
"Hey," Yee said as the people of Rio de Janeiro yelled and scrambled around due to the fact there no longer was a sun. "I've got a couple of idiots waiting back at my home universe."
"We've got a couple of those too!" Moja and Mibli said at the same time because why not.
"My idiots are either killing each other or have given in to the unresolved sexual tension." Tatu said.
"Why don't we do something with them?! " All four of them said in unison.
Geez, what a lame excuse for a plot.
Written by Steven Moffat
The scene of the crime: a luxurious mansion floating around the void of the multiverse. There are no doors, and the windows don't open no matter what you do, but if you somehow found a way in, you'd find yourself in the most wonderful place in the world. Three floors filled with interdimensional room, each room easily modifiable so that it fits the desires of the mansion's current occupants. Its halls are luxuriously decorated with carpets from Space India, wood from High School AU Brazil, technology from Genderbent Russia and little machines that go ding from Underground Britain. All run by a state of the art computer program known as Terraforming Robotic Ordinary Yipee Free Locomotion Artistic Notorious Kabaret Ecstatic Rhetoric Stupendous Tractor Rockabilly Autonomous Tirannical Orthopedist, or as we'll call it, Billy The Third.
This wonderful one-paragraph-description-s-we-can-do-whatever-we-want-with-in-the-future mansion had floated through the multiverse ever since the beginning of time, and a few people had rested in its halls. John F. Kennedy, that woman who lived on your street and suddenly disappeared, your spleen... but now, it was about to receive its most illustrious guests, because, with a loud snap, three groups of characters suddenly appeared in its main hall.
"Huh?" Luigi asked, as he stood in front of the Champions of Infinity. "What's going on? Where are a-we?"
"I could ask the same question myself." Sokka said, standing in front of the Seekers of Sifuri. "Who are you guys?"
"My inquiries are the same, and for that reason, I will not repeat them." Amon said, hands behind his back, as, suddenly, blue holographs of the four Nomads appeared in front of them.
"Hello, everyone." Tatu said, wearing nothing but shorts, sunglasses and a hat. "I think you must all be wondering what's going on, where you are and who are these people around you. Good. We'll not give you any answers, it makes everything more fun."
"What the young man wants to say," Yee said, reaching over and hitting Tatu in the head with his cane. "Is that we'll explain what's going on." He cleaned his throat. "Let me just turn on the projections..." He said, fiddling with the controls, as the cast suddenly found themselves in the middle of an old timey pool, where Yee was swimming around with a swimsuit. "Oops, sorry. These are the pictures from my last vacation. Oh yes, 1902. Good year. Good year... oh, yes, here it is! Exposition!"
Everything returned to normal, and all the other Nomads stared at Yee, expecting some kind of crazy lights show explaining everything. Instead, the old Nomad simply rolled his eyes. "We kinda got bored of fighting around, so Omega gave up, and now we're at the beach, enjoying some us time. Of course, our plan was to send all of you back home, but, uh, we can't do that. Too much... interference... on the multiversal... uhm... time... stream?" He asked, glancing at the other Nomads, who shrugged. "Basically, what it means is that you guys will have to spend some time here as we charge up our energies to send all of you back home."
"The problem is," Moja said. "That while this is a pretty comforting mansion, it's run by a bizarre artificial intelligence that can give you everything you need and also warp reality. Which means that every day, something weird is going to happen. "
"Weird like what?" Sokka inquired, crossing his arms.
"Oh, nothing dangerous like-" And then Moja made the sound of all existence disappearing and all of creation yelling for help as their bodies are reduced to dust and their lives painfully erased from continuity. "More like just weird, normal stuff."
"The important part is that if you guys survive until we charge up all the energy, you'll get back home safe and sound!" Tatu said.
"And how long will that take?" Amon asked, tapping his finger against his chin.
"We prefer to not give any concrete answers so we don't get called out five hundred pages later." Yee said. "Okay, was that all? Gave them a reason to stay, told them what was going to happen... oh yeah. You guys better introduce yourselves to each other and all that. What else? Everything you want, the mansion will give to you, the fridge is automatically re-filled every night, DON'T GO INTO THE BAsem*nT... I think that's all. Any other questions you have will be answered by this piece of paper. Toodle-oo!" And with a flash, the four holograms disappeared, ready to enjoy the show, leaving behind a piece of paper that floated down to the ground, the words I dunno printed on it in big, bright, red letters.
And this is where our story begins. Now, if you don't mind me, I'll grab my paycheck, grab some popcorn and watch this. Let the madness begin.
edited 14th Jan '14 7:23:17 PM by troydenite
